I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
