I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize