1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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