if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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