3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
