Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
