My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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