yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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