Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
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I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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