WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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