My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I wear drunk well.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
