Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
love makes seman taste better
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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