How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
