Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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