Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
