yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
