Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
