ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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