Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
