She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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