woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
