that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.