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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Get out of your relationship and into my pants.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love

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• (253): View more from Washington

  so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'

  (253): View more from Washington

  no more ever clear

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (916): View more from California

  The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation

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• (516): View more from New York

  Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks

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