well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just invented taco cereal.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
