I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon