This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
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