White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
