I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
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MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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