He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
