I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
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I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
do nipples grow back?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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