He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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