I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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