I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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