i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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