i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
