The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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