He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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