I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Pants are for mortals
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
