trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
