Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
