I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
