just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
