remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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