I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize