Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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