Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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