so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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