It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
