Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
