If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
