I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
