Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
