He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
