I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
