good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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