She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry about my life...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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