i think i have herpe
just one?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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